Shortbread layer ingredients (based on Peyton & Byrne’s book):
200g butter plus extra for greasing
100g caster sugar
100g semolina (I used ground almonds instead)
200g plain flour

Caramel layer (based on the recipe on condensed milk tin):
397g can of condensed milk
150g butter
150g brown sugar

Chocolate layer:
200g-300g good quality chocolate (recipe insists on high cocoa solid dark chocolate but I used 150g bar of Galaxy and it was fine!)

Steps:

For the shortbread layer:

• Preheat oven to 170c
• Light grease a 30 x20cm baking tin (should be deep enough for all the layers)
• Combine shortbread ingredients in food processor
• Press into greased baking tray and prick lightly
• Bake for 15-20 mins till golden brown
• Remove from oven and set aside to cool

For the caramel layer:

• Melt butter and sugar in pan stir over medium heat till sugar dissolves.
• Add condensed milk stirring continuously till 1st bubbles appear and the mixture turns a light caramel colour.
• Remove from heat as soon as comes to boil
• Spread caramel evenly over biscuit base
• Leave to cool

For the chocolate layer:

• Break chocolate into pieces and melt in a bowl over barely simmering water.
• Pour over caramel layer & leave to set in the fridge
• Once set cut into squares – should make about 16-20 depending on how big the pieces are!

1 onion chopped
2 carrots diced
Half pepper chopped
1 courgette chopped
Fry together in a little oil till softened
1/4 pt veg stock add : braise
1tsp mixed herbs / sumac
Handful of grated cheddar cheese
Season and leave to cool
Roll out 1/2 pack of puff pastry & cut into circles
Put tbsp of mixture in centre and fold over
Stick together with egg wash
Brush with beaten egg and sprinkle with onion seeds
Cook for 20 mins at 180 C

Ingredients:

2 chicken breasts sliced in 1cm wide strips
10cm chorizo sliced into coin shapes
4 spring onions finely chopped chopped
1/2 tub creme fraiche
200ml approx vegetable stock (or chicken I guess)
1 tbsp flour to thicken
1-2 tbsp olive oil for frying
Some button/chestnut mushrooms sliced
1/2 pkt of ready made puff pastry

STEPS:

1) Heat olive oil & fry chicken & chorizo for about 2 minutes until chicken is slightly cooked on outside and chorizo has coloured the oil

2) Add onions, mushrooms & flour and cook for a further 2-3 mns

3) Add creme fraiche & stock liquid. Simmer till thickened and season to taste

4) Pur into pie dish (20 x 10 cm approx) and cover with thinnish layer of puff pastry. Egg wash optional

5) Put in 190 deg C oven for 20-25 mins until pastry is cooked

6) Serve with mashed potato, braised carrots & green veg

Ingredients:
0.2kg white fish (fresh or frozen) – approx 1 packet
0.2kg smoked fish (fresh or frozen) – approx 1 packet
400ml milk
1 knob of butter
8 medium potatoes (approx 900g)
2 eggs
handful of frozen prawns (optional)
2 tsps plain flour
Another knob of butter
1 tsp of Dijon mustard (optional)
Squeeze of lemon juice
Grated cheese

Instructions:

1. Place fish fillets in large pan & pour over milk. Add butter and simmer slowly for 10 mins (for fresh fish. Frozen will take about 15mins)
2. While thats simmering, peel and cut potatoes into smallish cubes (so they’ll cook quickly) and place in a pan of salted water, with the eggs. Simmer for about 15 mins, or until potates are tender. Drain potatoes and set eggs in cold water.
3. Carefully remove fish from poaching milk and reserve this liquid for the sauce. Place fillets in a large baking dish, remove skin and flake the fish. (I find its easier to do it by hand – you can find & remove big bones this way)
4. Peel & chop the eggs into pieces (kids like helping with this one!) and scatter on top of flaked fish.
5. Add a handful of frozen prawns if liked
6. To make the sauce, combine the flour & another knob or two of butter in a small bowl to make a roux paste. Warm the poaching milk again and whisk this roux paste into it. The sauce should eventually thicken. Taste it and season if required. Add the Dijon mustard & lemon juice if using and stir throroughly.
7. Pour sauce over the prepared fish, eggs & prawns. Note: you may not need all the sauce! It depends on the size of your dish and how “wet” you like your fish pies!
8. Mash the potato with a little butter so its quite crumbly and dry. Sprinkle evenly over the fish filling. If you’re feeling artistic then create a design with a fork on top of the potato. But the most important thing is that there are lots of peaks that can go nice & brown in the oven.
9. Sprinkle grated cheese on top of the pie
10. Place the pie  dish on a baking tray – otherwise it will bubble over onto the oven floor. And place in an oven approx 180 deg C until the  top is crispy (about 20 mins)
11. Of course if you’re not using prawns everything else is already cooked and pretty much hot so you can just put it until a medium grill for 10 mins to crisp the potato
12. Serve with green beans & broccoli

Serves 6 adults
Could be frozen once  its constructed but before its grilled

Ingredients

Chorizo

Quinoa

Lemon juice

Olive oil

Chilli oil
Salt

Red pepper chopped

Serves 2/3
Ingredients
1 cup basmati rice
1 nd half tsp bouillon powder
Handful of frozen peas
Clove of garlic crushed
Handful button mushrooms chopped
Handful turkey/ chicken leftovers chopped
Butter or oil for frying
Soy sauce for seasoning

Steps:
Rinse rice in cold water. Cover with water so level is approx 2 cm above rice. Stir in bouillon powder and bring to boil uncovered.
When most of water has evaporated from top sprinkle on peas then cover with tight fitting lid to allow rice/peas to finish cooking over a minimal heat for approx 10 mins or so.
While that’s cooking gently fry garlic in butter or oil for a min. Then add mushrooms and cook for a further few mins to soften slightly. Add chopped turkey and toss together – it’s up to you whether you just warm the turkey through, or fry longer to get crispy edges.
Mix the cooked rice & peas with the mushroom and turkey mixture and mix thoroughly to ensure rice gets coated in oil/butter.
Sprinkle with some soy sauce to taste, either in pan or at table.

2) You need to engage with the audience
You might have the most glorious vioce on the polanet – but if you’re shy and nervous and not willing to at least make eye contact with, if not talk to the crowd, the audience with pick up on your discomfort and it will make them start to feel awkward. I would say a good voice will only get you so far, but you really need to be a front person, a spokesperson for the band. (Don’t expect the rest of the band to do any of this – they like to hide behind their instruments too much!)

3) You need to learn the song structures and be able to communicate this with the band
This can be quite tricky. And maybe in other bands its not necessarily the singer who does this, but definitely in Bootie & The Ho fish, I feel its one of my jobs to remember each songs structure (eg Intro, Verse, Chorus, Verse, Chorus, Solos, Chorus etc) and be able to communicate this with the rest of the band. Ok we’ve been playing together so long now that we all know the structures. But it does help when we have deps in who are unfamiliar with our particular way of playing some of the songs – and if, ahem, alcohol interferes with someone’s capacty for remembering where they are!

4) You have to be professional
People pay us money to play at their weddings & parties, so they expect us to be well behaved, courteous, smart and set up and take down equipment swiftly and unobtrusively. So in that case we are all roadies and sound engineers to some extent! You can’t really be a diva when it comes to things like that – you always have to muck in. (Its not usually a problem as we usually have a laugh while doing it)

So there you go. My advice to wannabe divas is to go out and audition for a band, or write a song and go to an Open Mic, or learn to play and instrument and start your own band – or go audition for a part in a musical. There are lots of avenues to explore.
But for the last time, no you can’t “have a go” when I’m on stage – its not karaoke!