We’ve just recently done two Bootie and the Ho Fish Christmas party gigs over the past two weekends. And a common factor has been that we get girly “fans” befriending us, trying to find out a bit more information about what songs we do, how long we’ve been together etc Now I assumed at first that they were genuinely interested – but it later becomes apparent that they are wannabe divas who want to have a go at the mic themslves.
But let me tell you, its not as easy as it looks! Just because you know all the words to the songs on Singstar and you can prance around your bedroom singining into a hairbrush the latest songs the gumbies in X Factor have been pelting out, doesn’t mean you can naturally front a band.
Here’s why:
1) You need to be able to remember LOTS of lyrics
Its no good learning just one or two songs – in our last gig we sang 26 songs. And you can’t really have lyrics sheets on stage, when you’re supposed to be engaging the audience

2) You need to engage with the audience
You might have the most glorious vioce on the polanet – but if you’re shy and nervous and not willing to at least make eye contact with, if not talk to the crowd, the audience with pick up on your discomfort and it will make them start to feel awkward. I would say a good voice will only get you so far, but you really need to be a front person, a spokesperson for the band. (Don’t expect the rest of the band to do any of this – they like to hide behind their instruments too much!)

3) You need to learn the song structures and be able to communicate this with the band
This can be quite tricky. And maybe in other bands its not necessarily the singer who does this, but definitely in Bootie & The Ho fish, I feel its one of my jobs to remember each songs structure (eg Intro, Verse, Chorus, Verse, Chorus, Solos, Chorus etc) and be able to communicate this with the rest of the band. Ok we’ve been playing together so long now that we all know the structures. But it does help when we have deps in who are unfamiliar with our particular way of playing some of the songs – and if, ahem, alcohol interferes with someone’s capacty for remembering where they are!

4) You have to be professional
People pay us money to play at their weddings & parties, so they expect us to be well behaved, courteous, smart and set up and take down equipment swiftly and unobtrusively. So in that case we are all roadies and sound engineers to some extent! You can’t really be a diva when it comes to things like that – you always have to muck in. (Its not usually a problem as we usually have a laugh while doing it)

So there you go. My advice to wannabe divas is to go out and audition for a band, or write a song and go to an Open Mic, or learn to play and instrument and start your own band – or go audition for a part in a musical. There are lots of avenues to explore.
But for the last time, no you can’t “have a go” when I’m on stage – its not karaoke!